First off, I want to apologize to my Facebook friends for my increasingly angry tone last night. It helps no one.
The sun rose today, and we’re all still here.
I am largely disappointed that we voted with our guts rather than reason. While I am disappointed, it is technically the will of the American People as a whole, apathy and all. I will respect it.
When they go low, we go high.
When Obama was elected 8 years ago all the trolls came out of hiding. We got ourselves an obstructionist government and a Republican party that did everything (and I mean everything) in their power to destroy their opponent (and themselves along the way). I refuse to behave in such a childish way. This new administration was brought on by something like bratty children throwing a temper tantrum. They got what they wanted.
Sure I am angry. I have every right to be (while I still have the right to be). I see people on social media shaming Trump supporters and friends who un-friended people who voted for him. I refuse to retaliate. This is not the way to find ourselves out of this mess. I will do my best to channel my anger into the positive.
The troubleshooter in me is trying to figure out why this happened.
Whether or not this is a good decision we made for ourselves, we will see in the weeks and months to come. Right now I’m mostly concerned with why I feel this way, and how can there be that many people who disagrees with my point of view.
More than anything, I am afraid.
I am a college educated elite living in a prosperous area working in Tech.
I am also an Immigrant, Asian, LGBTQ Woman of child baring age.
I know what it’s like to feel like I don’t belong and be trivialized – The sexist and bigoted, I’m looking at you.
I grew up in the Bay Area in the 90’s not quite belonging, but I had my role models (HRC, Janet Reno, Madeleine Albright, Margaret Cho to name a few) and freedom to think that with hard work (when I get around to it), I can do anything I wanted to. This had been largely true. My failings along the way were my own. Any external forces to suppress were comparatively trivial. I have been fortunate, but I know how it could have been worse.
I am a bit of a toss up politically. Even those who are closest to me do not see the world the same way I do. In this go around, fear won out.
So much social progress had been made for someone like me in the past twenty years. I’m afraid of having all of those things wiped away.
We are seeing two different Americas.
What I learned from the past 18 months is that generalization and assumptions are dangerous.
This is what it’s like to watch a train wreck happen and do nothing about it. It would be easy for me to say it is not my fault, I did my part. A lot of people say they didn’t see it coming. But there had been 18 months of ineffective communication between the opposing forces. We got really good at sticking our fingers into our ears and tune the other side out.
Not two weeks ago I sat in front of a Director at work with a group of my peers during a discussion about bias and told him how much I hated to be man-splained. I felt great to have voiced my opinions and shared my experience at the time. We were all in agreement that it was a terrible thing, because I was speaking with like-minded people.
That is not enough.
What we need right now, more than ever, is dialogue.
I need to stop turning away from those I don’t understand.
I hold myself accountable for not doing anything sooner. Apathy, or worse yet, just throwing empty words up on social media contributed to this. You may say that I’m being hypocritical by making a post about this in social media. But I am at the point where I know I need to take an extra step. I need to do better, because it is abundantly clear that nobody else is going to do it for me.
Rather than lecture, I would like to listen and learn. I would like to start dialogues. I would like to understand why we are here.
I refuse to be petty. I refuse to be dragged down. I will keep an open mind. I will not be bullied. I will only respond with reason and fact. I will give the man a chance. I will hold him accountable to the things he promised. I want to see how he will make America great again.
Devoid of meaningful leadership, all we have is each other.
I will be kind to others. I will be constructive. I will fight for those who are less fortunate. I will do something truly meaningful and not entirely symbolic.
It is not about me. It is not about the politics. It is about finding ways to treat one another as human beings again.
Like so many times before, I take this setback, dust myself off, and move forward.