Keep on pushing
It is incredibly frustrating when I look at the chart for the last 19 days and see how I lost a bunch of weight and it somewhat leveled off. When I think about it, the amount of loss on the chart only chronicled the amount I normally lose after purging a huge weekend meal. Mentally I know this is going to be a long process, but emotionally I’m very impatient.
In the first two weeks I dropped a few pounds. That was very encouraging. But When I account for the +- 3 pounds of variation it becomes less impressive. It is even disparaging that the loss on this week have become somewhat negligible. The only thing that helps my sanity is that my actual weight continues to be below the trend weight. The lines almost touched, but it’s still below. I just don’t like seeing the line level off. I know it’s only been half a week and my weight have drop back down a bit, but it still bugs me. I need to keep on counting, drink lots of water, and need to get to the gym more.
So far so good… but a long ways to go
My weight for the year so far has been all over the place. But after applying the moving average the trend line is still going down. Although it came really close, my daily weight has not floated above the trend line yet. Hopefully everything will come back down in the next few days. I need to get back into the habit of drinking about 2 liters of water when I’m at work to keep me hydrated.
Dirty 30
I turned 30 over the weekend. I feel the same in many ways. Maybe it hasn’t hit me yet that I just turned 30. I think when I turned 20 I was too busy to realize I turned 20. I think when I turned 25 I joked about how I can take children to R-rated movies. The last few birthdays I did what people expected me to do. Get a big table at a brew-pub and drink out of a pitcher with a bunch of people I barely hang out with.
This year I feel different. I think in the past I craved to be the center of attention. This year I spent it in relative quiet with the S.O. We just did things I enjoyed. I dusted off my camera and attempted to take some pictures. I didn’t do too much of it, but I think it’s a good start.
I attempted to round up some people for a quick gathering and it just showed who my really good friends are. There aren’t many, but the ones that I have they are great and most importantly supportive. There are those I deliberately did not invite because I know they will be piss all over the occasion and make it into their own pity party. It’s not what I need, so why bother.
Mediocrity and Priority
These words tends to creep up around this time of year. It usually have something to do with people deciding not to settle for less and prioritize their lives. Things may look to be in order for the first few weeks, but the routine quickly falls into disrepair and it becomes a goal for another year.
I am absolutely guilty of that. It’s about breaking the habit. True that it’s about putting into the mental efforts into the goal to achieve, but a lot of times is the company you decide to keep. This is something I have known for a long time, but never really have the strength nor the support to help pull me up.
When you focus on appeasing the negative people instead of making yourself a priority, you being to settle into mediocrity.
Cravings
When you start counting calories, you start to crave things you never really considered special before. My biggest cravings nowadays is carb, especially good pizza. More specifically Slice of New York. Months ago this would have been a fall-back food. Now I can’t have it on week nights and certainly not for lunch of I want some dinner. I can possibly have it on weekends, but I will have to exercise first. It moved from something I would hardly think about to something I have to work hard for. It’s feels weird, but it’s also strangely satisfying.
Weight Loss
It may not be hard, but it takes a frigging long time. I am seriously an impatient person when it comes to weight loss. Especially when I don’t understand how it works. I understand how if I take in less calories then what I burn I’ll lose weight. I get that. But what I don’t get is how my body works. I did Weight Watchers before along with having a trainer. It was just so much work, and expensive to boot. It was too much thinking.
The S.O. introduced me to The Hacker’s Diet recently and I’m currently reading the book. It’s interesting putting everything in more of a mechanical perspective. It’s a lot of number crunching. And the data I get back is a whole lot more meaningful then whatever fancy tracker I can put on my phone. All I really need to understand about my body is that I have a broken negative feedback system. Think of a broken thermostat that keeps the heat on even when the room is warm enough. I don’t know when to stop eating even when I ate enough.
Anyway, trying to lose weight is a pain in the ass. For now I am counting my calorie intake and hitting the gym more. Exercise is not really going to help me burn enough calories, but it will help me bump up my metabolism and help me not pass out when I run long distances. I lost about 2 pounds so far this year and I’m looking forward to more. I’m already down to just below 196 today, and I want to see that drop down under 190 in the next couple of weeks.
I get pretty excited just thinking about it. Losing weight in a meaningful way. I’m looking forward to being able to run longer and faster. I’ll stick to half marathon distances this year, but I definitely want to get into a marathon next year. I’m also excited about the prospect of getting a new wardrobe. I just have to keep on doing what I have been doing for a week and a half for the next year and I’ll be seeing some significant results soon.
